It's 1:15 AM now when I have started writing this directly in the blog editor. Nope, not feeling sleepy yet. I remember the time when I used to write long diary entries that took 1-2 hours and I used to sleep at 4 AM. It was back during 2008-2010 when I was in 11th standard and then 12th. And then there was a time when I spent most of the time sleeping or just lying on the bed. I also do remember searching once on Google "Am I depressed?". But just before a few minutes ago, I thought more about it and I thought maybe before sleeping I will write a post about it...
Sleeping matters a lot to me. I can't sleep if there is even a little bit of noise around me that is unpredictable; like people talking. And it really makes me angry when somebody wakes me up when I am in the middle of sleep. I stare at them and even shout at them. I keep my phone away after either switching it off or switching the profile to silent.
Google returned the results among which there was one article saying that if I have searched about it, I am probably depressed. When you are sad, you have lost hope, you are helpless, you have no aim or even if you do have there is nothing that you can do at present to achieve it, you will most probably want to sleep. I believe that is because reality doesn't seem better than the dreams or dreamless sleep. I know it now that this is the reason why I used to sleep a lot. I wanted to be away from reality. My aims were not recognized by people around me. And I was tired trying to make them understand the importance of little things that matter.
Sleeping matters a lot to me. I can't sleep if there is even a little bit of noise around me that is unpredictable; like people talking. And it really makes me angry when somebody wakes me up when I am in the middle of sleep. I stare at them and even shout at them. I keep my phone away after either switching it off or switching the profile to silent.
Google returned the results among which there was one article saying that if I have searched about it, I am probably depressed. When you are sad, you have lost hope, you are helpless, you have no aim or even if you do have there is nothing that you can do at present to achieve it, you will most probably want to sleep. I believe that is because reality doesn't seem better than the dreams or dreamless sleep. I know it now that this is the reason why I used to sleep a lot. I wanted to be away from reality. My aims were not recognized by people around me. And I was tired trying to make them understand the importance of little things that matter.
No comments:
Post a Comment